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The Elf Story
The Elf Story is a book (being) written by Jack Bond for Jesse Cox and wow Crendor, the idea came from the January 3rd Cox'n'Crendor in the morning episode. Plot Warning, contains spoilers! The book features a half breed elf named Alyssa, she is half high elf, a race of magical elves who live in clouds and fight wars and half Keebler elf, a race of elves who make cookies. Her mother, the high elf died 4 years before the book takes place, which made her father extremely overprotective about Alyssa being a Keebler elf. Alyssa takes comfort in her few friends, Ke'Ith, a high elf she has had a crush on for nine years and Joe, a Keebler elf who has been her friend for her entire life who has a major crush on her. Throughout the series Alyssa sees a dark skinned elf wearing armor and a yellow symbol on his back, who is later revealed to be Dark Elf. Throughout various run-ins with Ke'Ith Alyssa shows herself to be very socially awkward and shy, though he never seems to notice. Eventually Alyssa gets tired of her father and disguises herself as a High elf, they accept her into their city in the clouds for a few days before realizing her disguise is cookie weave and banishing her from their city. Alone and ashamed Alyssa returns home to her distraught father and is comforted by Joe during her month long grounding. Book 2 Book 2 picks up a few months in the future, Alyssa is now dating Ke'Ith and Joe is extremely depressed. Alyssa however becomes tired of Ke'Ith and breaks off the relationship, she then spends time trying to get Joe back as her friend, meanwhile Ke'Ith begins seeing them together, and interprets Alyssa's showing of comfort as affection becomes enraged and starts begins to bully and resent her. Dark elf continues showing up at strange and important times although does not ever make a dialogue appearance. Becoming more and more passionately angry, Ke'Ith eventually brings some of his friends out to beat on Alyssa, they find her walking away from Joe's house mentally exhausted and jump her from the bushes, but before they can do anything Joe comes out from the house dramatically and stops them, the three spend a while explaining everything to each other and then make up, meanwhile Dark elf is watching over them. The book ends with a cliffhanger of Orcs preparing to assault the city in the clouds. Book 3 The overly dramatic and climactic final to the trilogy, book three finds Alyssa alone, and although Joe and Ke'Ith are now best friends, Alyssa is sad and tired. Finally Dark elf steps forward and introduces himself to her. In the words of Jesse Cox, The great prophet of the Space Butterfly "They INSTANTLY bang". This leaves Ke'Ith and Joe both emotionally distraught and sad, but they are all forced to work together when they find out that there are orcs planning on attacking the upper city of the high elves. They work together a plan, organize and unite the two cities and charge into battle... To be immediately captured. Once in the cave, the orcs offer Alyssa a chance to escape, but in order to do so she must kill one of the three elves. She realizes that because Dark elf is an anti hero, and is pretty much evil, she should kill him but before she can Joe jumps up, and takes the weapon and stabs himself. Alyssa then has a moment of clarity and realizes he was the one she loved all along. Characters Alyssa being the main character is a slightly immature but shy and intelligent person, she just wants to be treated like an adult. wow Cre'Ndor is the mysterious dark elf, he is an anti hero and although evil Alyssa is drawn to him instantly. Joe is Alyssa's best friend, he will never leave her side and will always try to protect her, even if it takes him a little bit to realize it. Ke'Ith is the high elf who Alyssa wishes she could be with, he is the central plot point for book 1. Alyssa's father has no name or character development, he just seems like a bit of a tool. The Mysterious man with orange hair is a reoccurring character who is seen randomly throughout the story, he says strange things and is written off as a madman. Trivia These books are filled with Jesse cox references, from Scientology super-bowl commercials to actual appearances in the books, although he is never named. Alyssa's favorite band is "The Mayan Robot Experience", something mentioned in the Cox'n'Crendor in the morning podcast "We all die... UNLESS WE'RE ROBOTS" Alyssa's favorite game console is the Master V and the Boob box, her favorite game company being Buy Us For Boobs. I'll try and leave the rest to those who actually want to read it though! References https://www.youtube.com/user/OMFGcata https://www.youtube.com/user/wowcrendor https://www.youtube.com/user/PressHeartToContinue Published by Jack (Ancala) Bond, the person who is writing the book!